How Things Change

Having recently become a parent, I have been thinking back to my life as a child. Aside from remembering iconic toys, tv shows, and things I used to do, I’ve been particularly aware of the impression I had of my parents.

IMG_1461I’m in roughly the same age bracket as my parents were when they started having kids, yet I don’t feel like I’m the same age. It’s not that I remember my parents being ‘old’, but rather I don’t see myself as much different than I was ten years ago. As a kid, my parents always seemed like grown ups, which I suppose they were. Being 31 I suppose I am, too.

So why do I not feel like I’m just not to that place yet?

Maybe it’s because the change happens so gradually, it’s hard to notice until it’s been done. There was never a sudden change over from being a ‘kid’ to an ‘adult’. Some might say I still am a kid – yet I have a wife, baby and mortgage – so I’m an adult…!?

IMG_1446I have much the same feeling about all this as I do visiting places I haven’t been to since I was little. For example, my elementary school. I remember the first time going back in to Arthur Elementary after many years to vote for the first time (first sign of becoming an adult). My memories of the hallways and cafeteria were much different than what I saw. It wasn’t that the paint had changed colors or doors replaced, but rather the scale. I remember the hallways seeming forever long with really high ceilings. Now the hallways seem short and narrow.

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My Grandpa Jack (my Dad’s dad) with me when I was less than a year old.

I know full well that the size of the building didn’t change. Obviously, I am what changed, but it feels the other way around. Since I hadn’t been in there for so long, there was a disconnect between my reality then and now. The feeling was very apparent and felt weird. It seemed like a sudden, huge change.

Even though I have been present (more or less) for every day of my life, this adulthood thing has kind of taken me by surprise. We all know it’s going to happen sooner or later (much later, for some people), but looking back – just like visiting my old school – things aren’t quite as grown up as they seemed.

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My Dad, Me, and Harvey on my first father’s day in 2015.

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My Dad, Me, and Harvey working backstage at the Iowa City Jazz Festival 2015.


One thought on “How Things Change

  1. You are doing a great job being a dad. Harvey is one lucky little guy. 🙂 I remember the lady at the hospital said “no returns, no refunds” as we were leaving with 6 day old Harvey. I was scared. Sometimes I feel like I can barely take care of myself and here I am taking home a newborn! I also had an emergency c-section (first surgery ever) and was on pain meds that made me feel weird. I felt bad for you. Not only were you a new dad, but your partner needed help too. I knew you were overwhelmed and scared, but you didn’t show it to me at the time. We are going to make mistakes along the way. You should’ve seen how big my eyes were when I heard the car seat hook into the base as I was driving…but I can always watch Maury and feel better about my parenting. Thanks for being a wonderful dad to our son. Harvey and I are both blessed. Love you.

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